Wine Robots

"Welcome, Friend."

Do you wish you had a robot butler, but one that WOULDN’T try to kill you all the time? I know, right? Mine, too!

I found 'em! There is a wine store in Orange, off of Tustin Ave, called the Wine Exchange. You know who lives there? ROBOT BUTLERS!!!

The sign is a lie.

Before you slam your computer closed (If you’re on a laptop. Don’t do that with a PC. Bad things will happen.) and jump into your car, I should clarify. They don’t so much as do things for you… as much as give you samples of wine. I mean, my robot butler’s only job is to bring me wine (it’s a lot of wine), but some people (confederates) expect more from their animatronic servants.

Anyway, you go into this store (which is basically what it would look like if your parents opened a bev-mo and decided shelves are too expensive) and ask the clerk for a card for the wine robots. You give the guy some money and he gives you a plastic card. Then, you go into the back of the store. There, you’ll find them. They’re all lined up and they have wine bottles in their tummies. You feed one the card, push a button, then he regurgitates 1, 2, or 4oz of the wine in his belly. IT’S SO COOL! 

The wine gets switched around almost daily and they have special themed wine tasting nights from time to time. But, they usually have a human do those (for now).

Care for some bread sticks?

In Germany, wine is produce.

Twilight Midnight Screening

Umm... This isn't me.

No. Eww. No. I am NOT a Twi-hard. Gross. I HAVE a life.

I just find Edward sexy. Okay? That's it. OKAY? I'm not into the story. I just like to look at the pretty men.

So, now that you know that... The Midnight screening for Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part 1 is coming up.

November 17th/18th midnight. I will be at Irvine Spectrum. No, not alone. I will be with several others. No, they're not all girls. No, they're not all single. Wow, you are really judgmental.

Having read the books, I can tell you that this one is pretty juicy. Yes, I read the books. No, only twice. But you don't need to read the books to know what's going to happen in this one. It's ALL in the trailer. Seriously. This is the most revealing trailer I have ever seen:

Anyway, I'm not dressing up. And, it's because I don't care very much, not because there are no iconic costumes in the series. 

I may have put a shirt on my dog that said, "Team Jacob" at the last Twilight midnight screening, but that was HER choice. SHE is a NERD.

Improv Cup 2011

Some of you may remember that I entered the Improv Cup last year. It was way fun and all done for a charity.

This year I entered again. Did you see that coming? I did. Only, this time, I have a partner. A GREAT partner. The GREATEST partner. We will likely win. Why? Because I can see the future. And, in the future, there is a 70% chance that myself and my partner will win the 2011 Improv Cup. Notice, I chose the word 'likely' and not 'absolutely'. I believe these are the rules weather forecasters play by. I know what you are thinking, "but you are not a weather forecaster." This is true, but I strive to be as upstanding as those fine human examples of morality. Also, now would be the time to tell you that in addition to seeing the future, I know what you're thinking, as previously demonstrated.

Your next question, "Blaire. Who have you partnered with?" For that, my sweets, you will have to wait. My mystery partner is... a mystery. For now, you may guess. I will guess, too. But all of my guesses will be correct. Because... I can see the future.

I will give you a hint. 

This...

Is not him.

The OC Improv Cup

Stages Theater in Fullerton

November 11th and 12th

I Own A Business!

If you've been wondering where I've been, well, first of all, thanks for caring about my web personality that much. That's sort of sweet. Aww. I'm glad you care.

If you haven't been curious about me... TOO BAD.

You're about to find out where I've been.

I launched my own business!!! Hurray! I am now the BEST personal documentary service in the world.

That's right, I make personal documentaries. They're fantastic and I LOVE doing it. People have such wonderful stories. I love it.

So, it's called Emblem Documentaries.

Visit Emblem on the internet (she gets lonely) www.EmblemDocumentaries.com

And, if you'd like to have a documentary made by ME, BLAIRE 'the beautiful' BYHOWER, then mention you read Geeky OC to me when booking and you'll get the friends and family rate (through 2011 (that's as far in advance as I can plan right now. Who knows what kind of adventure I'll be on in 2012. Maybe mustang breeding in the Alps, maybe train-hopping through the South, maybe (hopefully) raising my prices.))

I love you (like a brother (a step brother (that I see very seldom-ly (you know, like on holidays (every other year))))).

Medieval Times

Black and White!

This is totally real.

Guys. Black & White is the BEST knight. Okay? So, what if he had an off day? No, I know he died first. It was because YOU weren’t cheering loud enough for him. Yeah. You just don’t know him like I do… he’s usually the best.

Buena Park. What’d you just think of when you read that? Was it Knott’s Berry Farm (BTW, where the heck are all the berries? Are they all in the freaking Jam? What if I don’t like jam?) or, was it MEDIEVAL TIMES?

If you don’t know what Medieval Times is, it’s a newspaper renaissance fairs print… probably. And it’s a themed dinner and show event!

If you’re a child at Medieval Times, you believe you stepped out of a time machine into the middle of a 100% accurate and 150% awesome knights-proving-their-bad-ass-ed-ness competition. If you are a drunk adult – you will have a very similar experience. Which is why I recommend you go ahead and arrange a ride home.

Because the show is family-friendly, they serve HUGE souvenir mugs full of booze (happy face), and the actual event is only 90mins long (SAD FACE).

Also, the tickets are a little pricey at $58 a piece. Then there are all sorts of upgrades you can buy on top of that, too. None are really worth it. Unless it’s your life’s dream to wear rarely washed renaissance garb in front of a green screen for a photo.

Get a group of friends, pre-game it, and fork out the minimum amount for tickets.

Also, whatever knight you’re supposed to root for is not as good as the black and white knight. I’m just saying.

"Things are happening over... there!"

The City of Orange Thursday Afternoon Farmers' Maket

“Yes, yes! Step right up and enjoy a sample of this tasty orange!”

“No, step up over here and taste THIS orange.”

“Hey, don’t listen to those guys, that’s poison. They want to kill you.”

“You, Ma’am, taste my berries!”

“Don’t listen to her, taste MY berries.” 

“No, taste THIS orange.”

“Did someone say ‘orange’? I have oranges!”

“They all are trying to kill you.”

“Look at these fruits, will you! MMMM… Tasty samples!”

“Taste my FREAKING oranges!”

“Why isn’t anyone tasting my berries? I feel bad about myself.”

“Shut up, Nancy. Miss, would you like a sample of my oranges?”

“It’s all poison!”

Farmers’ Market!

Nancy's Berries

The Thursday afternoon City of Orange Farmers’ Market is adorable. It takes place in a 200ft stretch of alleyway adjacent to old towne Orange. This allows space for about 10-12 stands. 2 of them are general fruit and vegetables, one is honey, one is mini bundt cakes, one is exclusively citrus, one is homemade bread, one is peanuts, one is flowers, one is bagged various snacks, and I don’t remember the rest.

The citrus guy at the end is VERY nice and his oranges are the BEST I’ve ever had. He grows them in Riverside and knows quite a bit about his fruits. He and his oranges are my favorites!

The Orange Whisperer

I wouldn’t say to make a special trip to this market because it is so small. I do, however, recommend that you visit it if you’re local or you happen to be looking for veggies on a Thursday afternoon between 2pm and 6pm.

Photo Credit - Bert Brown

Loving Hut

The evil vegan orders her lunch.

Once upon a time, a mommy and daddy yam-shrimp noticed how empty their yam-shrimp-house was and wanted very badly to have a baby. On a beautiful ocean day, their little yam-shrimp was born. They loved him very much and they named him Christopher. Christopher was the nicest yam-shrimp in his class. One day he was playing fin-ball in the yard when an evil vegan yam-shrimp-napped him. He screamed for the vegan not to hurt him. The vegan ignored Christopher. He cried as he accepted the inevitable – that he would never see his parents again. The vegan had a tasty lunch.

Wait a second. Yam-shrimps are made from yams! Christopher must be a shrimp-shrimp.

That means, when I go to the Loving Hut Restaurant in Orange, I won’t eat anyone’s son or daughter!

The Orange 'Chicken'

Located in the middle of a strip mall on Tustin, the Loving Hut is serving FANTASTIC 100% vegan cuisine. I mean, AMAZING. My favorite is the orange ‘chicken,’ but I haven’t disliked anything I’ve tried. I‘m a little wary of the philly cheese steak. How the heck do they make that vegan? I think maybe they use magic to make their ‘meat’ seem so meat-like.

I’m okay with eating magic: As long as I’m not eating Christopher.

Photo Credit - Bert Brown