Swap Meet

Affordable family fun! That's what the website for the Orange County Market Place describes itself as. I don't know about you, but when I was a child I was not begging to go shopping. I was like, "You're going where? And it's how early on a Saturday morning? Nope. Leave me with my cartoons and sugar-cereal, Lady." In hindsight, my dad probably didn't like me calling him that.

As a broke-ass college student (before torrents (man, I'm old)), buying bootlegged (probably) dvds on the cheap was worth getting my butt up at the crack of 11am on a Saturday. 'Beautie' products are also a popular less expensive alternative to the fancy 'beauty' products found at Target and other fine retailers.  

"Lemme in! Or, I'm gonna shoot stuff!"

Is Xmas coming (isn't it always... technically)? How about getting that special someone in your life an "I Love Lucy" tin thingy. Or a hat/stuffed animal. Maybe a leatherish car seat cover. Or any of the other millions of fine products made in China. A happy Xmas for everyone, I say!

SIGNS! Oh, F-Yes!

Also, while in college, I thought the fruit/veggies at the swap meet were a good alternative to having to actually grocery shop like an adult. It must all be local, right? This is like a Farmers' Market or something, isn't it? ISN'T IT?! Nope. Everything is from Chile. Don't buy the produce.

But you CAN (yes, I have the authority to tell you what to do)buy the jerky, the pickles, and the hand-made jewelry/art. That stuff is all made locally. Support your fellow Orangite (is that the thing that we're called?)!

Punctuation is important.

Another awesome thing about the swap meet, people watching! The "humans" that show up to this thing are s t r a n g e. People I have never seen the likes of in Fashion Island. Men with overalls and no shirts, teenagers pushing strollers with children holding pregnant babies inside, that couple that thinks that if they wear Ed Hardy T shirts and bedazzled baseball caps we'll mistake them for wealthy, and the only plastic surgery for miles is breast implants! No nose jobs, no face lips, no botox, no brow lifts, no lip implants... It's like an alternate OC.

"Kitchen supplies get me so hot."

It costs $2 to get in and it's located at the fair grounds. You've probably been to the swap meet before. If you haven't, WHAT? Who are you? Go, right now (if it's a Saturday or Sunday morning). You need to see this

Trampoline World

“You know, if we lived on a bigger planet and then visited Earth, it would feel like Trampoline World everywhere. PERSPECTIVE.”

Phones are not allowed = no personal pics.

So, some guy was like, “Ugh, if only I could throw my stupid kid on our family trampoline and he wouldn’t just roll off the other side… My wife and I would fight way less.” And that is the totally factually accurate way that Sky High (which I will henceforth refer to as Trampoline World because I like it better) came into existence.

It’s basically a big warehouse, sectioned off into different zones of trampoline-ing. There is the children’s area (not gonna lie, there were some creepers milling about), the bounce, bounce, land in pit of soft foam cubes (and never ever escape) runway, the dodge ball + trampolines = even more dangerous arena, and the general room full of trampolines.

Before entering the fun zone, one must sign a liability form. They insist you do NOT try tricks that are past your skill level (but then how will I learn?!). And, since my skill level is -3, I mostly ran back and forth in the big, generic trampoline room and pretended I was stuck on fast-forward.

Oh, and you may bounce barefoot or in shoes. BUT YOU MAY NOT BOUNCE IN SOCKS! FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS DO NOT BOUNCE IN SOCKS. SOMETHING TERRIBLE AND UNFORSEEN WILL HAPPEN. THINGS WILL NOT END WELL FOR ALL INVOLVED.

Employees, I presume.

One pays for an hour ($10) of access into the warehouse at a time. What? Only an hour? Oh, trust me, Little One, an hour is plenty of time to collect an injury and ashamedly pretend you’re not crying while every member of the staff of teenagers (“Happy 20^th birthday Brittany! Here’s your cake, now pack up your locker for you are no longer welcome here.”) shuffle by and offer to bring you ice (it’s such an automatic response for the employees, that I imagine before every shift the manager forces them into roll play exercises where the correct thing to do is ALWAYS offer ice. “Okay, Kimme, you’re turn. Ouch I stubbed my toe.” “Let me get you some ice.” “GREAT JOB, Kimme! Now, Tyler, you’re turn. Oh, no! My dignity is bruised.” “Can I get you some ice?” “Oh, so close, Tyler. Remember not ask if they need ice, assume they need ice. ICE! ICE! ICE! Ice…”).

You will get hurt. There’s no “maybe” about it. If you visit Trampoline World you will become injured somehow. Whether it be from rolling an ankle (Nikki), throwing your arm out playing dodge ball (Kc), being sore the next few weeks (James (I’m assuming)), or good ol’ trampoline-burn (yours truly), pain will find you and claim you for his own.

Hey, but bouncing is way cool.

Westside Bar and Grill

I heart dive bars.

The Westside Bar and Grill describes itself as OC’s nicest Dive Bar. I have to agree.

Plus, there’s usually some form of entertainment. Comedy, Karaoke, or Bands.

My friend Crysta (you may remember her from such posts as ElecTRONica) and I went to see two of my friends, and former Cherry Spitz members, compete in a stand up comedy competition.

They, unfortunately, didn’t win. However, the winners did go on to perform at the Comedy Store in Hollywood. Good for you Westside: helping local comics.

There’s plenty of space in the bar, it’s always bumping, the food and drink is good, and the service is friendly.

Kevin Stevenson, last month's winner.

Westside Bar and Grill – you’re doing a great job.