12.21.2011

Wine Robots


"Welcome, Friend."
Do you wish you had a robot butler, but one that WOULDN’T try to kill you all the time? I know, right? Mine, too!
I found 'em! There is a wine store in Orange, off of Tustin Ave, called the Wine Exchange. You know who lives there? ROBOT BUTLERS!!!
The sign is a lie.
Before you slam your computer closed (If you’re on a laptop. Don’t do that with a PC. Bad things will happen.) and jump into your car, I should clarify. They don’t so much as do things for you… as much as give you samples of wine. I mean, my robot butler’s only job is to bring me wine (it’s a lot of wine), but some people (confederates) expect more from their animatronic servants.
Anyway, you go into this store (which is basically what it would look like if your parents opened a bev-mo and decided shelves are too expensive) and ask the clerk for a card for the wine robots. You give the guy some money and he gives you a plastic card. Then, you go into the back of the store. There, you’ll find them. They’re all lined up and they have wine bottles in their tummies. You feed one the card, push a button, then he regurgitates 1, 2, or 4oz of the wine in his belly. IT’S SO COOL! 
The wine gets switched around almost daily and they have special themed wine tasting nights from time to time. But, they usually have a human do those (for now).
Care for some bread sticks?
In Germany, wine is produce.

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